i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
