You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i was born a porn star she said
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
