He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
