It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
