I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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