I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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