Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
