apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize