I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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