Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
