I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
