You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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