I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
