Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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