My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
there's paper in my vomit.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
