Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
