i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
