the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
