I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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