Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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