i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
