So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
