Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
