I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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