Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
