The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
