I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
