fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
