I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
