you turned your livingroom into a bong?
please come you make the beer taste better
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
