I wannas sexs uuuuu
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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