I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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