Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
