he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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