Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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