Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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