hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So vagazzling was a success
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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