I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i believe in u and ur pee
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
