You're my little dorito
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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