Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
