Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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