Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
