escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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