She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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