3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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