I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
