So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
