im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
