the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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