Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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