So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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