The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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