Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
