i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Boobs are out for the taking
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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