I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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