Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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