so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
