ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
