I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
