3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
