Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So many bounce houses so little time
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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