my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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