i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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